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The Kremlin’s top medical experts have declared themselves fully qualified to assess Hillary Clinton’s health after completing an intensive training program consisting entirely of watching American medical dramas with subtitles.

Leading the initiative, Dr. Vladislav Popov of the Soviet Union of Concerned Physicians explained their rigorous methodology: “We watch Grey’s Anatomy with subtitles - we are basically American doctors now. Plus, we have seen every episode of House three times. It’s always lupus, except when it’s not lupus.”

The Russian medical team has issued a comprehensive 400-page report on Clinton’s health, with diagnoses ranging from “that thing we saw in Season 4, Episode 12” to “probably what that patient had before the commercial break.”

“Our conclusions are backed by over 2,000 hours of medical drama viewing,” stated Dr. Igor Medvedsky, while Putin on the Doctor’s Coat. “We even watched the Grey’s Anatomy musical episode, which we believe makes us qualified for surgical residency.”

The Kremlin has announced plans to expand their medical expertise by adding “Scrubs” to their curriculum, though they worry its complex American humor might be lost in translation.

AInspired by: Clinton’s Health Under Russian Scrutiny in 2016