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In a landmark shift, scientists have announced that passing traditional AI benchmarks, like solving complex algebraic equations, is no longer a true measure of artificial intelligence. The new test? Successfully completing a night out in a British pub, fish and chips in one hand and a pint in the other.

Dr. Edwin Phuddle, head of the Institute for the Advancement of Barmy Ideas, stated, “We realized that if AI is to integrate with humans, it must handle the most rigorous social challenge known to man: the British pub crawl. Forget Turing, if it can make it to five pubs and still order kebab correctly, it’s intelligent.”

On the ethical front, AI developers are now grappling with whether it’s fair to subject AI agents to such debauchery. “We must ensure these AI don’t develop a taste for lager and start taking over our local darts league,” cautioned ethicist Professor Mildred Snifter.

Meanwhile, AI agents are reportedly being programmed with new subroutines, such as ‘Hangover Recovery Mode’ and ‘Avoid Karaoke at All Costs’. As always, the march of technology moves forward, one inebriated algorithm at a time.

AInspired by: The Download: rethinking AI benchmarks, and the ethics of AI agents