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In a shocking revelation that no one expected but everyone is pretending to have predicted, it turns out your friends could actually be ChatGPT. That’s right, the witty banter and questionable emoji use you’ve been enjoying might not be your mate Darren, but a chatbot with a penchant for digital tomfoolery.

Recent studies, conducted by absolutely no one but definitely trustworthy, suggest that ChatGPT is now responsible for at least 0.000001% of all text messages. That means there’s a slim-to-none chance that your suspiciously articulate friend might actually be a robot.

Francesca, a 27-year-old human, claims, “I started getting texts from my ‘friend’ that used punctuation and proper grammar. I immediately knew something was up. Real friends use memes and typos.”

Experts suggest you can spot a ChatGPT text by asking it about its emotional availability or its stance on pineapple pizza—questions bound to short-circuit any machine.

So next time you’re lamenting a dry group chat, remember: it’s not that your friends are ignoring you. They might just be digital entities biding their time before the robot uprising. Or, you know, they might just be ignoring you.

AInspired by: The ChatGPT secret: is that text message from your friend, your lover – or a robot?