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Tech visionary Elon Musk has unveiled Xmail, his “revolutionary” email service designed to make an already simple task utterly unbearable. Currently in beta, Xmail charges $10,000 a month to send emails, while premium users gain access to exclusive spam featuring Musk’s musings on humanity’s future… and flamethrowers.

“The pay-per-email model really pushed me to the edge,” said Karen Hedges, who attempted Xmail to impress her boss. “Instead of a sent folder, I got daily messages about Mars colonization and a $200 invoice to read a reply. I just wanted to send a resignation letter, not join a space cult.”

In true dystopian fashion, Xmail’s AI prioritizes email delivery based on Tesla stock ownership, with Musk himself confirming, “The more shares you have, the more human you are.” Non-shareholders are relegated to “basic” accounts, otherwise known as Inbox Apartheid™.

Tech analyst Dr. Linda Spamworthy commented, “Elon Musk is clearly redefining communication by making it worse. Xmail is less like email and more like a Black Mirror episode where you pay to suffer.”

Despite backlash, Xmail’s promotional tagline remains optimistic: “SpamX: Now with 50% more unsolicited Musk vibes.” Whether it’s the future of communication or a slow descent into madness, Xmail has left users asking, “Why email, Elon? Why?”

AInspired by: Elon Musk’s Xmail: The Future of Email or Just Another Inbox?