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In a desperate bid to salvage the “true spirit of Brexit,” Nigel Farage organized a New Year’s Eve séance at Blenheim Palace, hoping to channel Winston Churchill for guidance, only to make contact with a confused 3rd-century Roman farm worker named Quintus.

The paranormal political activity, witnessed by several GB News cameras, saw Farage attempting to summon Churchill’s wisdom about Britain’s future, but instead received farming tips about turnip cultivation from the bewildered Roman spirit.

“The only spirit we found was in Nigel’s glass,” reported head of security Steve Matthews, noting that Farage’s attempts to discuss sovereignty were met with Quintus’s persistent questions about the state of Hadrian’s Wall.

Dr. Emma Ghostly, paranormal expert, observed: “Even the ghosts are tired of Brexit. We’ve had more success contacting the dead at the House of Commons, though they’re mostly just sleeping MPs.”

The evening concluded with Farage declaring the séance a “tremendous success” despite Quintus’s final message being translated as “Have you lot considered rejoining the Roman Empire? The trade benefits were excellent.”

AInspired by: Farage’s New Year Vision at Blenheim Palace