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Former President Donald Trump’s failed attempt to acquire Greenland has taken an unexpected turn, as leaked documents reveal he believed he was purchasing the world’s largest potential golf course.

The 45th president reportedly submitted detailed plans to convert the 836,330 square mile island into “Trump International Ice Links,” featuring 18,000 holes and “the biggest clubhouse in history, maybe ever.”

“The roughage is already there, we just need to add some holes,” Trump explained in a memo to Danish officials. “Global warming is doing half the work for us - it’s basically free landscaping.”

The proposal, putting it mildly, received a sub-par response from Greenlandic authorities. “He kept asking about installing heated cupholders in the icebergs,” revealed one bemused official, speaking on condition of anonymity. “When we mentioned our indigenous population, he suggested rebranding them as ‘native caddies.’”

Trump’s team remained undeterred by the cold shoulder from Greenland, with plans already underway to convince Antarctica to become “Trump’s Southern Hemisphere Golf Academy and Penguin Resort.”

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