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In a display of artificial intelligence but real childishness, OpenAI CEO Sam Altman has rejected Elon Musk’s attempt to acquire the company during what witnesses described as “a heated playground negotiation.”

Sources report Musk approached Altman during Silicon Valley’s traditional lunch break, offering to trade “three Tesla prototypes, a slightly used social media platform, and his entire collection of rocket trading cards” for OpenAI’s prized possession.

“I’ll even throw in my limited edition blue checkmark. It’s super rare!” Musk reportedly shouted across the corporate campus playground, while wildly waving a handful of algorithm trading cards.

Dr. Theodore Playsworth, leading expert in techno-recreational negotiations, explained: “We’re seeing classic schoolyard dynamics. These are essentially Pokemon card trades with billion-dollar stakes.”

Altman responded by having OpenAI’s security escort Musk off the premises, but not before declaring, “My AI says your AI isn’t even that cool anyway.”

The incident concluded with Musk threatening to “tell his dad” and promising to create his own, better AI company “with blackjack and memes.”

AInspired by: Sam Altman Dismisses Elon Musk’s Bid to Buy OpenAI in Letter to Staff