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Local man Tom Jenkins spent six exhausting hours yesterday attempting to prove to himself and others that he isn’t just an ultra-realistic AI-generated video simulation.

The crisis began when Jenkins watched a demonstration of new AI video technology and realized he couldn’t definitively prove he wasn’t himself a sophisticated digital creation. His subsequent existential meltdown included pinching himself repeatedly and asking colleagues to verify his childhood memories.

“The reality patch notes clearly state that humans should be able to distinguish themselves from AI,” said Dr. Reality Check, head of Existential Computing at the Institute of Digital Philosophy. “But we’re seeing an increasing number of people requiring authentication updates.”

Professional Human Authenticator Karen Actual reports a 500% increase in reality verification requests. “Yesterday, a client insisted on bleeding to prove he wasn’t binary code. I had to explain that AI can now simulate blood quite convincingly.”

Jenkins has since started carrying a card stating “I think, therefore I am probably real,” but admits he’s not entirely sure if he wrote it himself or if an AI wrote it while pretending to be him pretending to be real.

AInspired by: Can we still tell what’s real? ‘Unsettling’ new AI tech makes generating ultrarealistic videos easy