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In an unprecedented display of cultural commitment, Representative Maria Ramirez has transformed her congressional office into a fully functional ancient Mayan temple, complete with sacrificial altar and astronomical calendar for scheduling committee meetings.

The renovation, part of what Ramirez calls her “Mayan-stream politics” initiative, has raised eyebrows among fellow lawmakers who must now participate in traditional ceremonies before discussing legislation.

“We had to postpone the infrastructure vote three times because the sacred calendar deemed the days inauspicious,” explained a visibly exhausted staff member. “And don’t get me started on having to climb 91 steps just to reach her desk.”

The office transformation has created unexpected challenges in day-to-day operations. Legislative decisions are now determined by reading patterns in scattered corn kernels, while the building’s facility management struggles with the constant burning of copal incense.

“Look, I’m just trying to honor my heritage,” defended Ramirez, adjusting her jade-encrusted headdress. “Besides, our current political system is basically a pyramid scheme anyway.”

At press time, several other representatives of various backgrounds were reportedly considering similar office modifications, prompting the Architect of the Capitol to issue an urgent memo regarding structural load limits and the use of human sacrifice in government buildings.

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