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Former President Donald Trump has demanded the Smithsonian Institution revise its slavery exhibits to highlight what he calls “tremendous professional development opportunities” offered by plantation life.

The proposed changes would rebrand slavery as “America’s First Internship Program,” with exhibits emphasizing “invaluable hands-on experience” and “forced networking opportunities” available to participants.

“These weren’t slaves, they were entry-level agricultural specialists,” Trump insisted during a press conference. “The plantations offered excellent team-building exercises and real-world cotton-picking experience you just couldn’t get anywhere else.”

The new exhibits would feature LinkedIn-style success stories and testimonials written in modern corporate language, describing slave quarters as “collaborative living spaces” and chains as “retention incentive devices.”

“It was basically a 400-year networking event,” explained Trump spokesperson Madison Heritage. “The Underground Railroad? That was just an early example of employees job-hopping to competing organizations.”

The Smithsonian has reportedly received a 500-page style guide requiring all references to “slavery” be replaced with “involuntary career advancement program” and “slave masters” with “plantation mentorship facilitators.”

Museum staff note that Trump’s own great-grandfather’s business will be referenced as “an early adopter of unpaid externships.”

AInspired by: Trump Orders Review of Smithsonian’s Slavery Focus