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The World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) has announced a groundbreaking partnership with retired soccer players to improve wrestlers’ injury-selling techniques following Raja Jackson’s recent “interpretive dance rampage” that sent opponent Mike “The Mime” Matthews to the hospital.

The incident, described by witnesses as “method acting meets mat action,” saw Matthews perform what medical professionals are calling “the most elaborate injury response since the 2022 World Cup quarterfinals.”

“I’ve seen better acting in soap operas,” noted Dr. Drama, the sports medicine theater critic who treated Matthews. “The way he incorporated interpretive dance elements while clutching his clearly uninjured shoulder was worthy of a daytime Emmy.”

The WWE has responded by hiring former Premier League soccer players known for their dramatic falling techniques to conduct “theatrical throwdown” workshops. “It’s not WWE, it’s METHOD-E,” explained wrestling coach Boris “The Teacher” Thompson. “We’re bringing Broadway to bodyslams.”

Matthews is expected to make a full recovery after intensive drama therapy, though sources say he continues to spontaneously collapse whenever anyone mentions Raja Jackson’s name.

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