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In an unprecedented mass exodus following James Comey’s indictment, Department of Justice employees are trading their legal briefs for leotards, with hundreds applying to join Barnum & Bailey Circus.

“The circus has better benefits and less drama,” explained former federal prosecutor Sarah Jenkins, now a trainee trapeze artist. “Plus, when someone here says they’re walking a tightrope, they actually mean it.”

The migration has created what industry experts are calling a “three-ring circus of justice,” with former DOJ staff filling positions from clowns to lion tamers. The circus’s HR department reports being overwhelmed by the influx of highly qualified applicants looking to escape the Washington scene.

“At least when clowns throw pies, they mean it literally,” said ex-FBI agent Tom Wilson, now a professional juggler. “And nobody here pretends they can’t remember basic facts under oath.”

Barnum & Bailey’s ringmaster expressed initial concerns about the institutional knowledge transfer but admitted the new hires have “really improved our procedural efficiency, though they need to stop filing motions before each performance.”

The DOJ’s remaining skeleton crew has reportedly started wearing red noses to work, claiming it “helps with institutional transparency.”

AInspired by: Federal Grand Jury Indicts James Comey on False Statements and Obstruction Charges as DOJ Resignations Loom