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In a desperate bid to prevent photo identification mishaps, Congress has passed emergency legislation requiring all representatives to carry comprehensive photo albums of every American citizen at all times.

The new “Picture Perfect Politics Act” transforms the House floor into what observers describe as “a cross between a photography studio and a weightlifting competition,” with representatives struggling under the burden of massive photo binders.

“We’re seeing a real development in political accountability,” says Dr. William Frame, photo-political analyst. “Though several representatives have been hospitalized with severe back strain.”

One anxious congressman, who wished to remain anonymous, admitted: “I’ve got 8x10 glossies of every American citizen, just to be safe. My chiropractor says I’m developing a hunch, but it’s worth it to avoid another photo faux pas.”

The legislation has already been shot down twice in the Senate after several senators were caught using Instagram filters to make their constituent photos “more aesthetically pleasing.” Meanwhile, junior representatives have resorted to hiring teams of former yearbook editors as emergency photo consultants.

“At least we can finally say Congress is focused on something,” noted Dr. Frame, while adjusting his camera’s aperture settings.


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