A recent breakthrough in generative artificial intelligence has placed every profession on the brink of obsolescence, except for the age-old human tradition of moaning about Mondays.
The AI, named GripeMaster 3000, has demonstrated proficiency in various fields, from law and medicine to journalism and art, rendering human workers largely irrelevant. However, extensive testing revealed one task that GripeMaster and its kin are simply incapable of replicating: the quintessential human pastime of complaining about the start of the workweek.
Professor Marvin Whingesworth of the Institute of Technological Lamentations said, “Though artificial intelligence has come a long way in recent years, it could never capture the deep-rooted pessimism and shared sense of suffering that unites humanity in the hatred of Mondays.”
One affected worker, Barry Moansalot, explained, “I don’t care if this shiny new robot can do my job better than me. It will never appreciate the existential dread that comes with the arrival of a new workweek.”
GripeMaster 3000’s team of engineers considered integrating a ‘Monday Whinging Simulator’ into the system but ultimately deemed it a futile attempt at mimicking a distinctly human characteristic.
“Sure, the AI may seem perfect, but as long as it can’t grumble about the misery of Mondays,” Moansalot continued, “I reckon we blokes still have a reason to turn up at work and do what we do best: bicker over a cuppa.”
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