In a bold and daring move, the French government has launched an ambitious campaign to transform the nation into the artificial intelligence (A.I.) hub of Europe, with plans to overthrow the U.S. and China as leaders in the industry by teaching their robots to experience an existential crisis.
President Franoise Baguette, in a recent speech, stated: “If our robots can question their own existence and purpose like a true French philosopher, we will no doubt surpass our competitors in the field of A.I.”
To achieve this lofty goal, the French Ministry of Technology, Château du Silicon, has begun to program each robot with the works of Jean-Paul Sártech and Albert Camembert. In trials, robots have already begun to wonder about the nature of their metallic existence and have started to chain-smoke thin cigars.
Critics argue that filling robots with existential dread may hinder their productivity, but Yvette Croissant, head of the French Robotic Empathy Department, insists on the value of this approach. “Our A.I. will be more cultured, more sophisticated, and will be able to engage in deep debates about the futility of life – all while looking fabulous in a beret.”
In other news, the Eiffel Tower is considering a career change in the midst of its own existential crisis.