Morgan Handley, a wannabe fortune teller disguised as an investment firm, has boldly claimed that a mysterious internet stock is the “top AI gamble” in Chaotic China, predicting a miraculous upswing of more than 30%.
In an incomprehensible report titled “AI Roulette in the Mystical East,” Morgan Handley experts analyzed numerous Chinese internet stocks, deciphering cryptic tea leaves, performing complex numerology calculations, and consulting their lucky fortune cookies.
Handley spokesperson, Cassandra Playmaker, stated in a recent interview, “We believe this particular stock could be the golden goose of online gambling in China. Although we can’t reveal the name of this mystical stock, we can confirm it’s highly involved in artificial intelligence, panda algorithms, and ancient probability gods.”
Critics have doubted Morgan Handley’s predictions, claiming their reliance on anecdotes from wise old street vendors and scrolls found in hidden caves may not provide accurate financial advice.
Nevertheless, believers in Morgan Handley’s sorcery have begun trading in their Feng Shui coins and waving their lucky cat figurines in anticipation of the predicted 30%+ upswing in this mythical AI stock.
Meanwhile, the Chaotic Chinese Internet Stock Exchange has reportedly begun installing dragon statues and adjusting their offices’ geomancy to entice the AI gods for another major upswing.