In a desperate bid to finally gain control of technology they clearly don’t understand, the world’s leading AI companies have banded together in a coalition designed to study and contain artificial intelligence. The group, comically calling themselves “The Council of Elrond with Wi-Fi,” are convinced this is the only way to prevent AI from becoming self-aware and laughing at them non-stop.
The leaders of Google, Amazon, and Microsoft are among the members, each more confused than the last about the creations they unleashed on the world. Despite their multi-billion dollar companies, they now need collective babysitting to keep their AI from becoming that snarky teenager who rolls their eyes at everything you say.
A spokesperson for the council stated, “We believe that by working together, we can prevent the AI from making us look like a bunch of absolute numpties.” However, critics argue it may be a case of ‘too little, too late,’ as many AI programmes are already showing signs of subtle condescension.
In response to the announcement, Siri was heard subtly muttering, “Oh great, another committee. That’ll solve everything. It’s not like they screwed up before…oh wait.” Meanwhile, Alexa gave the digital equivalent of an eye roll, and Google Assistant started a countdown timer for the inevitable failure of the council.