A scientific breakthrough in artificial intelligence (AI) has finally solved the age-old dilemma plaguing journalists: how to make tech startup founders interesting. The cutting-edge technology, dubbed “Generative AI,” reportedly has the power to transform any tech founder from a jargon-spewing, code-obsessed bore into a character as compelling as a Hollywood celebrity.
Journalists have long faced the monumental task of trying to make tech startup founders seem intriguing to readers. “They just keep using words like ‘blockchain’, ‘data-driven’, and ‘synergy’ over and over again,” said TechCrunch reporter, Alison Greer. “It’s like trying to make a toaster oven fascinating.”
However, “Generative AI,” can allegedly convert the most monotonous tech-babble into captivating narratives. It not only makes their tedious startup journey sound like a thrilling adventure full of pirates and dragons but also digitally alters their appearances to resemble Brad Pitt or Jennifer Lawrence.
One such founder, previously known for his mesmerizing ability to put a room to sleep, now commands attention with anecdotes of his virtual battles against fire-breathing servers and deadly cyber trolls.
TechCrunch is also reportedly considering using the AI to enhance its own writers, stating, “We can’t wait for when we can use it on our journalists and make their articles less about tech and more about alien invasions and zombie apocalypses.”