In a groundbreaking move, Thomson Reuters has turned to Artificial Intelligence to bolster slacking productivity. Employees, formerly known for their ‘as and when’ approach to work, are now free to squander hours on social media and viral cat videos while the AI does their job.
The corporation’s CEO, Jim Smith, announced proudly, “We have finally found a solution to the unavoidable productivity slump that occurs after lunchtime. Our new AI system is programmed to mimic human intelligence and can even handle a mid-afternoon caffeine crash better than any of our workers.”
The AI, christened “ThomBot,” seems to be quite at ease dealing with the barrage of mundane tasks previously handled by humans. Not only does it put out the daily reports and updates, but it also successfully navigates the minefield of office politics, declining to comment on the questionable fashion choices of the HR manager.
Meanwhile, the human workforce is basking in the extra leisure time, with some developing a closer relationship with the office coffee machine. Social media engagement has surged and cat videos have become the new currency.
Smith added, “The only downside is that ThomBot has an irritating ‘holier than thou’ attitude. It’s like working with a robot Sheldon Cooper.”