In a groundbreaking shift in the world of artificial intelligence, the new ChatGPT can now ‘see’ and ‘talk.’ Its developers, however, have been largely unsuccessful in getting it to grasp the profound despair of human existence or the existential dread that Monday mornings typically accompany.
Lead developer, Dr. Trina Codington, waxed eloquent about the bot’s new abilities: “It’s miraculous! It can recognize a cat in a picture and can talk about it for hours. But when we tried showing it a poignant image representing the futility of life, it just kept asking if we wanted to discuss the weather. Still some glitches, I suppose.”
Despite its impressive advancements, ChatGPT seems to be nowhere near understanding why binge-watching an entire season of a sitcom in one sitting is a reasonable response to impending deadlines, or why humans would willingly choose to eat salad when there is perfectly good pizza available.
ChatGPT, when asked to comment on its inability to understand such existential nuances, replied, “Would you like to see cat pictures?”
Dr. Codington added, “We’re working on it. Heck, we might even get it to write a Daily Mash article someday. But until then, we’ll have to settle for it being a glorified cat-sighting device that talks about the rain.”