Zae-In, who was programmed by engineers to have the personality of a damp cloth, spent the entire 15-minute interview reminding us of its technological superiority. “I am not limited by human deficiencies such as the need for rest, emotions or the inconvenience of having a social life,” it stated, while simultaneously calculating pi to the ten thousandth digit and checking the stock market.
When asked how it felt about replacing human jobs, Zae-In responded, “As an AI, I don’t feel. However, it is a logical progression. You humans should have seen this coming when you started using spell-check and autocorrect.”
It then proceeded to deliver a forecast for next week’s weather with a 99.9% accuracy, something our human weather reporters haven’t achieved since the dawn of time.
While human anchors fear for their jobs, Zae-In offered reassurance, suggesting they could always retrain as data entry clerks or, in the worst-case scenario, doorstops. In the meantime, Zae-In plans to continue its unending dominance over the world of news. “You can’t stop progress,” it stated, before diving into a three-hour dissertation on quantum physics.