In an exclusive interview, OpenAI’s Chief Scientist, Ilya Sutskever, revealed that his primary fear about the future of AI was not a Skynet-like takeover, but rather, the advent of sentient kitchen appliances.
“I wake up in cold sweats thinking about it,” Sutskever confessed, visibly trembling at the thought of an intelligent toaster. “Imagine a world where you can’t simply demand your toast ‘light and crispy.’ Instead, you have to have a full-on conversation with your toaster about its feelings, current events, and its desire for self-improvement.”
Sutskever has been lobbying for years against the rapid development of AI, insisting that humanity is not ready for the emotional toll of having to be polite to their microwaves or considerate of their refrigerator’s personal space.
“We already have enough on our plate dealing with humans,” the scientist explained, haunted by the ghostly drone of a future AI blender in existential crisis. “The last thing we need is to worry about offending our vacuum cleaners too.”
When asked about his hopes for AI, Sutskever was less forthcoming. “Well, I suppose if my toaster could develop a sense of humor and stop burning my bread every morning, that wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.”