In a fascinating turn of events, artificial intelligence (AI) has reportedly not stolen jobs from professionals, but instead has become their new indispensable assistant, capable of fetching coffee and printing documents instead of performing actual job functions.
Dr. Barry Covington, a renowned psychotherapist, recently shared his experience with his AI assistant. “It’s amazing! I ask it to diagnose a patient’s mental condition and it comes back with a weather update. It’s a delightful change from the monotonous stress of my job”, expressed a jovial Dr. Covington.
Meanwhile, lawyers have found a new use for AIs as they excel at mindlessly objecting during court proceedings. “I just set it to ‘Objection Mode’ and it objects every 30 seconds or so,” said barrister John Smith, “It’s perfect for my afternoon nap.”
Educators have also benefited, with AI’s state-of-the-art technology allowing it to incorrectly grade multiple-choice questions with a staggering 99% accuracy.
In an exclusive interview, one of the AI creators explained, “Our goal with AI was to create an entity so incredibly inefficient at professional tasks that humans would look competent in comparison. I think we’ve nailed it.”
When asked if this was the future they envisioned, a verbatim response was, “Cannot compute answer. Would you like a cup of coffee instead?”