In an exciting discovery, NASA scientists recently identified a new star, dubbed the ‘Omnistar’. However, public interest in the celestial object has been lukewarm at best, as most people were disappointed to learn that ‘Omnistar’ was not the latest Kardashian controversy.
Millions were dismayed to learn that this latest news was not in the realm of reality TV but rather in the dominion of reality itself. The nation’s collective reaction to the discovery could be best summed up as, “Oh great, another shiny thing in the sky. When is the next season of ‘The Bachelor’ starting?”
NASA, in a desperate bid to spark interest among the general public, highlighted the fact that the Omnistar is, in fact, so large it could house all six seasons of ‘Jersey Shore’. Despite this, the public remained resolutely more interested in Snooki’s latest Instagram post.
Maria Johnson, a disgruntled hairdresser from New Jersey said: “I don’t care if it’s a star or a planet or a black hole. Unless it can host the next season of ‘Love Island’, I don’t give a damn.”
NASA is now considering partnering with E! Network for their next press release, in hopes of accidentally educating the public about the cosmos.
AInspired by: The dawn of the omnistar