Just when you thought the planet couldn’t get any more comatose, 2023 swooped in and said, “Hold my beer.” The year turned out to be one for the books, with Artificial Intelligence (AI) becoming so advanced that they even started doing our thinking for us.
“AI has truly transformed our lives,” said John Smith, a man who hasn’t moved from his couch since last March. “I haven’t had to take a decision of my own in months. Feels good.”
In a notable breakthrough, engineers developed an AI that can predict what kind of pizza you might be in the mood for, even before the thought crosses your mind. Moreover, the AI can place the order, pay for it, and then consume the pizza on your behalf while you lie on your couch, uselessly overweight, watching episodes of ‘The Office’ for the 300th time.
But it wasn’t all smooth sailing. The year saw its share of AI-induced missteps as well, with one woman stuck in an endless loop of indecision as the AI kept predicting she’d change her mind about her hairstyle, resulting in 47 haircuts in a single day.
As we enter 2024, experts predict that by mid-year, the AI will be so advanced it’ll start writing satirical pieces for The Onion. “Finally, I can retire,” said one tired Onion writer, before realizing that the AI had already written his resignation letter for him.