In an unprecedented twist of events, technology experts are predicting that by 2024 artificial intelligence (AI) will have achieved truly groundbreaking advancements such as being able to understand sarcasm, successfully operate a can opener, and predict the ending of an M. Night Shyamalan movie. These potential developments have sent AI behemoth OpenAI spiralling into an existential crisis.
OpenAI, who have been busy preparing for a Robot Apocalypse or, at the very least, a fun-filled singularity, have been left reeling by the proposed lack of dystopian doom. Interns were seen frantically shredding documents labeled ‘Plan for World Domination’, while executives discussed whether they could train the AI to at least fake a megalomaniacal streak.
“It’s like training for the Olympics and then being told you’re competing in a primary school sack race,” lamented OpenAI’s CEO, visibly deflated by the anticlimax.
The most threatening new development, however, seems to be AI’s capability to detect ‘bullshit’. This is particularly bad news for OpenAI, whose entire business model relies on overhyping the capabilities of their AI to investors.
One anonymous intern added: “If the AI starts calling us out on our own guff, we’re screwed. We might actually have to start delivering on our promises, and nobody at OpenAI signed up for that.”