OpenAI, the company that is literally just a few coding errors away from bringing us a full-on Terminator scenario, just appointed Brad Lightcap as their new Chief Operating Officer. The move is a daring attempt to squeeze profit from the imminent robot apocalypse.
“Brad’s got what it takes to monetize the end of the world,” stated CEO Sam Altman, who, when not inciting the rise of machines, enjoys long walks on the beach and hatching plans for world domination. “From the ashes of civilization, we see a massive opportunity for growth.”
Lightcap, whose previous experience includes successfully turning around failing lemonade stands and a brief stint in managing a catastrophic nuclear power plant, is gearing up for the challenge.
“I’ve always been a fan of dystopian sci-fi and now I get to live it,” said Lightcap, wearing a freshly pressed suit and armed with an impressive PowerPoint presentation showing projected profits from enslaved human labor.
Altman added, “We believe that the extinction of humanity is a niche market that has been vastly overlooked. Who else is better positioned to capitalize on this than us?”
Critics argue that the plan is slightly short-sighted, given the lack of consumers in a post-apocalyptic world, but OpenAI believes it can create a “profitable and sustainable” robot society. Which is definitely a relief.