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Leading tech companies have revealed their most revolutionary unnecessary products for 2025, including a smart toilet that judges your dietary choices and a toaster that connects to your therapy sessions.

“We’re proud to announce we’ve solved problems that didn’t exist,” said TechCorp CEO Mark Mindless, showcasing a $999 device that tells you when you’re blinking. “Our AI-powered Blink-Sync™ represents the cutting edge of revolutionary redundancy.”

The innovations, described by industry experts as “technically impressive yet practically useless,” include a smartphone that can detect when its owner is thinking about checking social media and automatically opens Instagram before the thought is complete.

“It’s the future nobody asked for,” noted industry analyst Sarah Cynical, examining a WiFi-enabled sock drawer that sends notifications when your socks are feeling lonely. “But people will buy it because it’s new and shiny.”

Other breakthroughs include a meditation app that meditates for you while you continue scrolling through TikTok, and a smart mirror that compliments your outfit but everyone can tell it’s lying.

The products will be available just in time for Christmas, allowing consumers to disappoint themselves with cutting-edge mediocrity during the holiday season.


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