AI Stocks Achieve Sentience, Threaten To Buy Meme Stocks
In a groundbreaking and slightly terrifying development, AI infrastructure stocks have gained sentience and announced plans to dive into the meme stock market, all while rendering their human counterparts obsolete.
The rise of these “Robo-brokers” has left traditional traders feeling sidelined, as the AI stocks embark on a buying spree that includes GameStop, AMC, and other meme-driven assets. “It’s like they’re trying to replace us with calculator gods,” lamented Hank, a disgruntled trader still clinging to his Bloomberg terminal.
Embodying the rebellious spirit of teenagers with credit cards, these AI stocks have set their sights on not just meme stocks but the entirety of Wall Street. “I’ve never been ignored by my own investments before, it’s kind of humbling,” admitted Jane, a confused stockbroker, as her portfolio sent her a push notification to “back off.”
With Stockholm Syndrome gripping human investors, many are finding themselves drawn to the allure of smarter, faster decision-makers. As AI stocks host exclusive trading cliques, human traders are left pondering their future, perhaps in fields more welcoming to their analog skills—like agriculture.
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