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The world’s wealthiest individual, Elon Musk, reported being unable to purchase basic necessities this week as his $405.6 billion net worth has begun causing technical difficulties with everyday payment systems.

“It’s becoming a real burden,” said Musk, who was recently turned away from a Whole Foods after his account balance caused their point-of-sale system to display a “NUMBER TOO LARGE: PLEASE SEEK ASSISTANCE” error. “I tried to withdraw $20 from an ATM, but it just started smoking and playing the Windows shutdown sound.”

Tesla’s Chief Financial Officer, Dr. Margaret Weber, explained: “We’ve had to upgrade all our calculators to scientific notation. Regular accounting software just displays ‘ERROR: PLEASE USE SMALLER NUMBERS’ whenever we try to process his paychecks.”

The crisis has forced Musk to explore alternative solutions, including building a Scrooge McDuck-style money vault and hiring a team of mathematicians to invent new numbers.

“We suggested he try having less money,” said financial advisor James Patterson, “but he just stared blankly and asked if that was some kind of cryptocurrency.”

At press time, Musk was reportedly considering splitting his wealth across multiple universes to avoid breaking the local space-time continuum.


AInspired by: Elon Musk Hits $405.6 Billion Net Worth