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A former Dogecoin employee successfully prevented a carjacking in Washington D.C. yesterday, though investigations reveal his effectiveness stemmed from a complete misunderstanding of his previous job title.

Mark Henderson, 34, who spent two years working for the cryptocurrency company believing DOGE meant “Department Of Guard Excellence,” applied traditional dog training techniques to subdue the would-be carjacker in what police are calling a “bizarrely effective” intervention.

“I thought DOGE meant working with actual dogs,” explained Henderson. “So when I saw the carjacker, I just used the same firm voice and hand signals I learned from my imaginary K-9 unit training videos. The criminal clearly hadn’t done his research - unlike Dogecoin, car values actually go up.”

Local law enforcement has taken notice of Henderson’s unconventional success in this rough neighborhood. “We’re implementing a new ‘paw and order’ approach to community policing,” announced Police Chief Janet Morris, while demonstrating treat-based deterrent techniques.

The carjacker was last seen fleeing with his tail between his legs, though witnesses report he did pause briefly to sit when Henderson commanded “stay.”

AInspired by: Ex-DOGE Worker Stops Carjacking in D.C.