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The Centers for Disease Control has issued an urgent public health advisory following what experts are calling the first medically documented case of someone being literally “bored to death” during a campus speaking event.

The incident occurred at Utah Valley University when student Tyler Robinson succumbed to what medical professionals are terming “fatal monotony” during Charlie Kirk’s three-hour presentation on the dangers of critical thinking.

“We recorded unprecedented levels of tedium,” explained Dr. Sarah Slumber, Director of the CDC’s Division of Boredom Studies. “The victim’s engagement levels dropped below what we previously thought possible for human survival. This was a deadly dull presentation of lethal proportions.”

Emergency Response Coordinator James Wakefield described the scene: “By the time we arrived, dozens were in various stages of consciousness. The speaker was still discussing his high school accomplishments from 2014. It was the most dangerous levels of monotony I’ve seen in 20 years on the job.”

The CDC has now mandated that all campus speakers must maintain minimum entertainment thresholds and carry emergency supplies of Red Bull.

AInspired by: Tyler Robinson Kills Charlie Kirk at Utah Valley University Event