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Microsoft’s stock soared to unparalleled heights after executives foretold a $10 billion boost in annual Artificial Incompetence (A.I.) revenue. The tech giant’s Schlock, a small robotic mascot symbolizing the company’s blunders, skyrocketed to fame as the company celebrated this prediction.

Elon Mush, the imaginative founder of Regal Galactic and Schlock’s godfather, was ecstatic about the news, saying, “We’re really hoping to invest in further Artificial Incompetence solutions. Why leave the fun to just humans? Our machines can become equally clueless and inefficient!”

Microplop executives have already earmarked billions to create A.I. systems that automatically download updates that no one wants, send emails to the wrong people, and flood screens with utterly irrelevant notifications, thus hindering productivity.

“Imagine your computer randomly going haywire during important meetings or losing your files just when you need it the most… oh wait, we’ve already achieved that,” chuckled Microplop CEO Boreman Scrapes, as he high-fived his fellow executives.

Schlock, the robot, was last seen causing mayhem by spilling champagne on Scrapes’ computer during the celebrations, proving that Artificial Incompetence is well on its way to achieving big profits for Microplop.

AInspired by: Microsoft’s stock hits record after executives predict $10 billion in annual A.I. revenue