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Jenny Disconnect, the bestselling author of “The Fantastic Phone Break-Up Guide,” says her 1-minute tip for disconnecting from your phone is a lifesaver, but confesses she can’t use it herself.

Followers of Disconnect’s advice are baffled by the revelation that their guru was unable to apply her own revolutionary 1-minute phone break method. “I just can’t seem to stay off my phone for that full minute,” she admitted sheepishly.

Danny Distraction, a prominent critic of Disconnect’s work, commented, “Why am I not surprised? Phonelationship experts like her can’t even follow their own advice. If the author can’t survive a single minute without their precious device, what hope is there for the rest of us?”

When questioned by fans, Disconnect attempted to justify her inability to follow her own guidance by explaining, “I’m constantly receiving important notifications about innovative new ways to distance myself from my phone. I can’t miss those!”

Readers of “The Fantastic Phone Break-Up Guide” are now left confused, wondering if the book was some meta-satirical commentary on society’s phone addiction or just a shameless cash grab by someone equally as addicted as they are.


AInspired by: This 1-minute practice can help you ‘break up with your phone,’ says author who wrote the book on it