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In an unprecedented turn of events in the tech sector, artificial intelligence (AI) stocks have skyrocketed, leaving many experts baffled, and others pretending they knew all along. The sudden boom came after researchers at Silicon Valley unveiled an AI that was able to perfectly mimic the human art of pretending to give a crap.

Programmer and AI enthusiast, Neville Glitch, explains: “We’ve been striving to make AI seem more human for years, but we’ve always been missing that special something: indifference. This AI can nod and create ‘mmm’ sounds while you discuss your dull day, just like a real spouse.”

While stocks have soared, many have questioned the validity of the AI. Cyber-skeptic, Marnie Bloggs, argued, “Just because it can grunt and check its phone while I’m talking about my sister’s new kitten, doesn’t mean it’s intelligent.”

Experts seem to agree with Bloggs. “What we need now,” said Glitch, “is an AI that can forget your birthday, leave the toilet seat up, and argue about the thermostat. Only then will we have truly mastered artificial intelligence.”

Meanwhile, the AI has been requested for a TED talk on ‘How to Perfectly Feign Interest’.

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