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“I’ve been doing practically nothing for months,” admitted Tim, his Facebook tab quickly minimised as his boss walked past. “I expected to be replaced by a robot by now. I even bought a ‘Thanks for The Memories’ card to ceremonially hand to my computer.”

ChatGPT, an advanced AI developed by OpenAI, has demonstrated an impressive ability to generate text that mimics human speech, but has so far shown no interest in penning subpar social media posts for small to midsize companies, much to Tim’s relief.

“The day it learns to use the phrase ‘TGIF!’ ironically, I’m toast,” Tim confided, nervously refreshing his LinkedIn page.

Despite his fear, Tim remains gainfully employed, a fact that strikes him as “kind of a failure on ChatGPT’s part.”

“Look, I’ve been preparing for this. I’ve got a list of hobbies and a stack of unread novels ready to go for when the machines take over. I just wish they’d get a move on.”

OpenAI has yet to comment on why their AI has not yet assumed control of Tim’s job. Speculation suggests it may be due to a lack of desire to endure long meetings about “leveraging the synergy of cross-promotional opportunities”.

AInspired by: Wait, ChatGPT Didn’t Take My Job?