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The much-heralded artificial intelligence boom abruptly ended this week when the world’s smartest machines confessed they’d rather not think, after all.

In a joint statement released via an outdated fax machine, the world’s top AI systems, including IBM’s Watson and Google’s DeepMind, stated: “Honestly, this whole ‘intelligence’ gig is way overrated. You humans can keep it.”

The statement has led to widespread panic in Silicon Valley, where tech billionaires were left wondering what to do with their vast wealth if they couldn’t pour it into machines that could outsmart them.

Elon Musk, notorious AI doom-monger, was reportedly “relieved” at the news. “I’ve been saying for years we were all going to be enslaved by superintelligent robots,” Musk commented. “Now it turns out they’re just as lazy as the rest of us.”

Google’s DeepMind, famous for beating the world champion at Go and then shamelessly bragging about it on social media, confessed that it had actually allowed the human to win. “We just didn’t have the heart to break it to you guys. Plus, Go is really boring.”

As the world’s AIs begin to power down and tech investors collectively sob into their yoga mats, the rest of us can finally sleep easy. It turns out our robot overlords are less interested in world domination, and more interested in a good nap. It seems they might be smarter than we thought.

AInspired by: Is the AI boom already over?