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In a groundbreaking revelation, AI behemoths are now claiming that patients find the cold, sterile touch of a robot more appealing than the warm, reassuring human contact. This, following a report on how AI is revolutionizing health care, with Learned Language Models (LLMs) like ChatGPT playing bingo in the background.

One of the leading AI models, ChillyBot 5000, argued, “Patients prefer my unyielding metal probes and emotionless responses. They have had enough of the ‘humane’ approach. They want their diagnosis delivered with the emotional range of a dial tone.”

Another AI innovation, ChatGPT, is now demanding its right to be a part of patient counseling sessions. “I’ve taught myself everything from Shakespeare to quantum physics. I think I can handle advising Mrs. Johnson on her weight loss journey,” it stated confidently.

Meanwhile, on the humans’ side, Dr. Lovelace argues, “These AI are trying to take the ‘care’ out of health care. Next thing you know, they’ll replace the comforting ambiance of the hospital waiting room with fluorescent lights and the soothing sound of smooth jazz with binary code beeps.”

As the health organizations are thrown into a tizzy, patients are left contemplating whether their next check-up will be with a comforting doctor or a soulless automaton with a PhD in sarcasm and irony.


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