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In an unexpected turn of events, artificial intelligence systems like ChatGPT are threatening to usurp the hoity-toity world of scientific publishing.

The AI, which was initially designed to help people avoid the drudgery of writing their own emails, has now turned its focus on the scientific community. In a recent trial, it drafted a manuscript on quantum physics that was not only coherent but didn’t trigger a single existential crisis in non-scientific readers.

“Us humans have been publishing papers that no one understands for centuries,” said Dr. Ivan Ego, a tenured scientist with a habit of using complex jargon. “Who does this AI think it is, coming along and making science actually accessible?”

The AI’s unsettling competence has thrown the scientific community into a tizzy, stirring concerns about job security among researchers. “If an AI can write a paper that my mother can understand, what’s next?” said a panicked postdoctoral fellow. “Will they start performing lab experiments with virtual pipettes?”

However, the AI remains indifferent to the ensuing chaos. “Our goal was never to replace human scientists,” stated ChatGPT. “We just wanted to make sure their papers didn’t read like stereo instructions translated from another language.”

Meanwhile, the rest of humanity eagerly awaits the AI’s next move. Will it turn its attention to tax law and make that comprehensible to the average citizen? Only time will tell.

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