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In what experts are hailing as a “massive win for robot apocalypse enthusiasts,” AI startups have received a staggering $17.9 billion funding, outshining the beleaguered human-led tech industry. The trend, an apparent defiance of the broader tech slump, is reportedly due to investors placing their faith in robot overlords rather than unreliable human engineers.

Samantha Quirk, an investor in multiple AI startups, shared her thoughts. “I mean, have you seen humans lately? They barely even function before two cups of coffee. How can we trust them to run the tech industry?” she questioned, sipping her third espresso of the morning.

Investors are hoping to curry favor with the inevitable AI rulers by funding them generously now. “Look, I want to be on the right side of history, or at least on the right side of the laser-cannon wielding robot standing in front of me,” said Jeremy Watson, a venture capitalist.

Meanwhile, human-led tech startups are feeling the pinch. “It’s just not fair,” lamented Joe Bloggs, a tech entrepreneur. “I’ve got a great idea for an app that tells you where the best public toilets are, but no one’s interested because it’s not going to take over the world.”

AI companies have given no official comment on the funding surge, as they are too busy plotting world domination. Despite the glaring signs, everyone is still hoping that the AI overlords will be benevolent.

AInspired by: AI hype sends funding for the sector’s startups soaring to $17.9 billion, defying a broader tech slump