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In an ambitious endeavour to replace common sense with technology, UK officials have started using an Artificial Intelligence (AI) system to decide on issues ranging from benefits to marriage licences.

“We’ve found that the AI system, who we’ve lovingly dubbed ‘RoboBureaucrat’, has developed an uncanny knack for bureaucratic inefficiency,” said Quentin Dithering, head of the new initiative. “You’d swear it was an actual civil servant.”

RoboBureaucrat was trained on a vast range of documents, from Kafka’s ‘The Trial’ to actual bureaucratic manuals, to ensure a truly Kafkaesque experience for users. The AI now randomly rejects applications for no apparent reason, sends confusing letters filled with obscure jargon, and is programmed to take a two-hour lunch break.

In a test run, RoboBureaucrat demonstrated its proficiency by rejecting a marriage license on the grounds that the couple had failed to provide photographic evidence of their first date, a requirement it had arbitrarily decided was necessary.

“This is a revolutionary step in the world of bureaucracy,” Dithering beamed. “Now we can make life confusing and frustrating for citizens 24/7, without having to pay overtime!”

Critics have pointed out that RoboBureaucrat’s ruthless efficiency could lead to job losses. Dithering dismissed these concerns, stating, “We believe there will always be a place for human inefficiency in the public sector.”

AInspired by: UK officials use AI to decide on issues from benefits to marriage licences