Alt Text

In a turn of events that has horrified email users worldwide, the creators of spam emails have unveiled a new ‘super-annoying’ version of the digital menace.

The unthinkable masterminds behind the Internet nuisance announced on Tuesday that they have successfully developed an advanced form of spam which is ‘twice as intrusive and three times more aggravating than its predecessor.’

“This new spam will not only infiltrate your inbox, but also your work life, personal relationships, and even your dreams,” gloated Dr. Irwin Spamburger, lead developer and self-proclaimed ‘King of Aggravation’.

Email users have already reported some maliciously creative methods of annoyance employed by the new spam, such as correcting their grammar mid-email and inserting unsolicited political opinions into love letters.

Elise Browne, a regular email user, expressed her dismay: “Just when you thought the only thing worse than spam was pineapple on pizza, they come up with this. I didn’t even think it was possible to make spam more infuriating.”

Meanwhile, in a cavernous lair beneath the world’s largest server farm, the pioneers of spam are already working on their next atrocity: a version of spam that sends you physical junk mail when you try to delete it.

AInspired by: Spam is about to get even more terrible