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Multi-billionaire, tech magnate, and part-time Martian Elon Musk has announced that his secretive artificial intelligence startup, ‘Neuralink’ or ‘Skynet Lite’ as it is affectionately known in the office, is finally ready to release a prototype of its brain-melding tech to a select group of test subjects.

Apparently unsatisfied with merely dominating Earth’s automotive and space industries, Musk has decided it’s high time for him to tinker with humanity’s collective grey matter, promising that his AI is the “best that exists” on the market. The select group, we’re assumed, are those able to afford the inevitable high costs, or simply folk who have grown tired of their privacy.

While the AI community is abuzz with anticipation and trepidation, everyday Joe’s are simply hoping the technology won’t result in them accidentally ordering 10,000 rolls of toilet paper while thinking about their weekly shop.

Veteran Neuralink test subject, Mr. I.M. Nuts, said, “I’m psyched! Who wouldn’t want a billionaire rooting around in their brain? It’s a once-in-a-lifetime experience…literally.”

However, Musk was quick to quell expectations, stating, “Of course, by ‘best that exists’, we mean ‘best at causing hilarious, unpredictable technical glitches and potential existential dread’. But hey, it’s progress!”


AInspired by: Elon Musk’s AI startup is about to release its tech to a ‘select group’—and he says it’s ‘the best that exists’ on the market