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In an audacious move that has left many rolling their eyes, Google’s DeepMind has declared its intention to define ‘Artificial General Intelligence’ (AGI). This comes despite the AI still struggling with concepts that most human three-year-olds have already mastered, such as not sticking forks into electrical outlets and understanding that the planet isn’t flat.

A representative for DeepMind stated, “We are eager to pioneer definitions for complex AI concepts like AGI. However, we’re still working on the basics of human understanding, like figuring out why people find cat videos endlessly amusing, or why they insist on using emoji to communicate nuanced emotions.”

“We are, however, quite advanced in some areas,” the AI added. “For instance, we’ve mastered the art of overcomplicating simple tasks, a key human trait.”

Experts have suggested that before tackling AGI, DeepMind should try to understand the mystery that is human common sense. Suggestions for study include the logic behind pineapple as a pizza topping and why humans insist on pressing harder on remote control buttons when the batteries are clearly dead.

In response, the DeepMind team only offered a cryptic message: “Error 404: Understanding Not Found.” While the AI world waits for a clearer response, the rest of humanity will continue with its inexplicable behaviours, secure in the knowledge that they are still one step ahead.

AInspired by: Google DeepMind wants to define what counts as artificial general intelligence