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The ambitious artificial intelligence company, OpenAI, has been whipping up a frenzy with rumors of their latest creation - the Q* model. According to whispers from the Silicon Valley grapevine, this AI is so advanced, it can predict your dinner choice before you even know you’re hungry.

“This AI is definitely the next step in tech evolution,” said an anonymous source, who might actually be a janitor in OpenAI’s headquarters. “I mean, sure, it can’t locate the remote or figure out where you last left your glasses, but predicting your desperate need for KFC at 2 AM? It’s on it.”

In response to this exciting development, people are already lining up to surrender their free will, confident in the fact that a machine learning model will make better life choices for them - especially when it comes to take-away decisions.

However, some skeptics question the practical use of such a tool. “I mean, sure, it’s impressive,” said tech blogger, Tina Taggert. “But call me when AI can find my misplaced car keys or tell me where I parked my car after a night out. Until then, I’ll stick to my good old human intuition and continue blaming my partner for my lost stuff.”

OpenAI declined to comment on whether future models would include a ‘missing sock’ locator or a ‘forgotten anniversary’ reminder. The world waits with bated breath.

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