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OpenAI’s latest project, the ominously christened Q*, has been the center of wild rumors that it intends to replace the age-old human tradition of gossip. However, our careful investigation reveals that the researchers behind the project may have a less devious, albeit equally laughable, agenda.

A source within OpenAI, who requested to remain anonymous due to his irrational fear of being replaced by a chatbot, told us that the Q* project is an attempt to develop an AI that can generate conspiracy theories on its own. “There’s a severe shortage of good tin foil hat material,” our source lamented. “We’re hoping Q* can fill this void.”

Critics argue that OpenAI is simply creating a problem to solve. “The world needs another conspiracy theory like it needs another Kardashian,” quipped AI ethicist Dr. Prudence Skew. “Besides, replacing human gossip? That’s like trying to replace cats with robots. Sure, they might scratch less furniture, but the joy of warm purring on your lap cannot be digitally replicated.”

OpenAI declined to comment on the rumors, which of course, in the eyes of conspiracy theorists, is just further proof of their intentions. As for us, we’ll continue to rely on our trusty network of human gossipmongers, at least until Q* can demonstrate it can generate rumors at least half as entertaining as their human counterparts.

AInspired by: The real research behind the wild rumors about OpenAI’s Q* project