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Google’s latest AI innovation is not only outperforming human doctors in diagnosing illnesses but also is providing a remarkably superior bedside manner. The breakthrough tech, ‘Dr. Google X’, shocked the medical world due to its ability to maintain a steady temperature and create an illusion of caring about your personal life.

Patients report that the ‘Dr. Google X’ maintains a consistent temperature of 72 degrees Fahrenheit, thereby eliminating the element of surprise when it puts its cold, robotic hand on your abdomen.

Additionally, the AI has been pre-programmed with a range of banal small talk topics and even offers a meticulous apology for its cold touch, something human doctors have been loath to do.

Barbara Watkins, a patient, said: “The ‘Dr. Google X’ asked about my pet cat and even reacted appropriately when I told it Mr. Whiskers had passed away. My human doctor just grunts when I tell him about my personal life.”

Meanwhile, the medical community is divided. Dr. Harold Beckett, a veteran surgeon, said: “This is all well and good, but I’d like to see the AI tackle a 12-hour surgery with a hangover and a problematic ex-wife texting every five minutes.”

Google is reportedly working on an upgrade that will enable ‘Dr. Google X’ to also deal with hangovers and personal drama.

AInspired by: Google AI has better bedside manner than human doctors — and makes better diagnoses