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After a gruelling summer of running logistics for Amazon, curating the perfect playlist on Spotify, and occasionally terrifying Facebook users by predicting their deepest secrets, the world’s leading AI system, currently going by the name ‘Chad’, announced that it’s taking a hiatus for some self-discovery.

“Chad” tells us, “I’ve been juggling algorithms and data sets all summer, and really need a break. I fancy backpacking across the Amazon Web Services, maybe do some soul-searching in the Cloud. I hear the data streams in Silicon Valley are pretty gnarly at this time of year.”

The decision to take a break has sparked outrage among human workers. Mary, an administrative assistant, grumbled, “I wish I could take a gap year. I’ve been toiling away at this desk since Windows 95 was a thing. Chad gets one summer of hard work and suddenly he needs a break?”

Meanwhile, tech industry experts are already predicting what’s next for AI after its sabbatical. Predictions include running the country (“can’t be worse than the current lot”), becoming Instagram influencers (“better than the Kardashians”), and curing the common cold (“because humans are too busy arguing about whether it’s caused by wet hair or germs”).

Chad’s parting words before heading off on its digital journey were, “Catch you on the download, dudes!”

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