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With the rise of Artificial Intelligence (AI) technologies, corporations across the globe have been scrambling to create a new executive position: the Chief AI Officer (CAIO). This is despite the fact that most of these companies couldn’t define AI if their stock portfolios depended on it.

“We needed someone who could understand the difference between a Roomba and a Terminator,” said one flustered CEO, who wished to remain anonymous. “Our old IT guy just kept muttering about Skynet and running away.”

The role of the CAIO, according to the hastily-fabricated job descriptions online, seems to be primarily to reassure board members that their jobs aren’t about to be replaced by a sophisticated chatbot. Secondary responsibilities may include occasional office-wide speeches about the threat of AI uprisings and offering advice on how to ‘reboot’ the coffee machine.

One recently appointed CAIO, who had previously worked as a videogame tester, said: “I think my main role is to explain that the printer isn’t trying to overthrow humanity when it prints those weird error messages. Also, I handle requests to install Siri on the office computers.”

The companies are reportedly offering seven-figure salaries for the role, further indicating that no one really understands what AI is or what it’s worth.

AInspired by: The AI boom has spurred law firms, hospitals, insurance companies, government agencies, and others to create chief AI officer roles to navigate the use of AI