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In a groundbreaking study, artificial intelligence (AI) researchers have discovered that human infants hold the key to the next stage of AI development. The secret? Uncontrollable crying and spontaneous bowel movements.

“Babies have an unrivalled ability to turn from angelically serene to inconsolably apocalyptic in under three seconds. We felt this was something our AI robots could really benefit from,” explained Dr. Verna O’Tronix from the Institute of Unnecessary Research.

The team exposed their top-of-the-line AI, named “B0B”, to hours of baby footage, hoping the AI could glean some valuable insights. And indeed it did - B0B began emitting random high-pitched noises and even simulated soiling its motherboard.

“We are thrilled with the results. B0B is now able to throw tantrums and emit a disturbing odor at will. This is a huge leap forward in AI development,” exclaimed a visibly exhilarated Dr. O’Tronix.

While critics question the practicality of having an AI that constantly demands attention and produces simulated waste, the team is undeterred. They are already working on the next phase of development - training AI to refuse vegetables and demand candy at all times.

AInspired by: What babies can teach AI